Me? Myself? I?

Sometimes, I don't say doesn't mean I don't care.
不要太过分。
我的忍耐是有限的。
I trusted you by telling you certain things, in return this is what I get?

7:07 PM

I'm not suppose to be here updating. I'm suppose to be reading my IEB notes.
Notes on hand, but eyes looking at the lappy screen.

Busy week ahead with all the MST.
1 down, 3 more to go.
Trying my very best to do well. It's 15% of the overall & there is no u-turn when once things are done. I'm still hoping I can take diploma-plus at the at of the year. But I think the chances are slim.

It's another 8 weeks of school. In 8 weeks time it will be exams. =.=
MSTs are not over yet & I'm thinking about exams.
Why? Because, time flies.

Back to my notes....

9:49 PM

Today's flag day was... Hmmm....
I think today's 'business' was slightly better compared to the previous flag day? With lesser number of hours spent, I gave almost the same amount of stickers? Compared to the previous time, at least this time round there is a 5 dollar note? Perhaps because today I more hardworking? Then my other 2 friends slack slightly more? Haha!

Kind of wasting money to travel here and there.. Why I say so? Because, first we have to meet outside Outram Park MRT, then they give us location. Guess where it is? Tanjiong Pagar again~ We are so fated to go there. So is like difference of 1 stop and we have to take train there and back again to Outram Park after the whole thing ends.

Started collection donations at 9am until 10.20am. Went off to Burger King to slack. Eat and camwhored. When was I ever so enthu taking all those 古古怪怪的照片？
First time!! Lol!
Slacked till 11.45am then went back to our spot and continue collecting again until around 12.30pm. Back to Outram Park to return the stuffs after that.

After that, went down to Marina Bay to meet with yl they all. Thought I was late, but after reaching, I realised I was still early. Shouldn't have rushed down. 没办法，习惯了。
Went down to Marina Barrage after that to shoot~
Hmmm... Not much to shoot actually. But after one whole afternoon there, I had sunburnt. =.=
I think this is one of the worst sunburnt I ever had. Until now, my face and hands are still warm.. My cheeks & nose are red! Omg!

Stayed till around 6pm and went home.

Next up will be Haji Lane outing~ Next week! :)

9:18 PM

是太久没有考试，没有测验？
感觉怪怪的。
一点信心也没有。
不知道要怎么应付。
不知道读得够不够。练习得够不够。
不知道会不会到考场时全都忘记？

很想快点考完。
但又担心考不好。

6:23 PM

Am I suppose to be happy or not?
I no longer have to waste time on IDEA module.
Finally I do not have to do the same thing all over again.
Lecturer found out that I've done IDEA during PPP.
Am I really glad that I don't have to take that module anymore?

All from the start, when school term just started, I don't have to take at all. It's all my fault for being so blur and not to ask if I'm exempted or not. Only until now that lecturer found out about it, then I don't have to take.

I still feel that this time round I'll do better than during PPP. I have so much more confidence of doing this well compared to the previous one. I'm just left with 1 CA and I'm done. But too bad, who tell me I transfer my credits already. Haiix.

But now I have extra 2 hours on every Thursday. I wonder how can I spend the time~

3:43 PM

Great! Now then I realise there was a Maths Mock MST on blackboard. =.=
I thought I was ahead of time for my revision. Now I'm not, because I haven't do the maths mock yet. ZZzzZzzz...

Extra WCD lesson tomorrow morning.. I better not doze off during lesson, or else next Friday, my practical will be gone case.... ZzZzzZzzz

-----------------
Flag Day on Saturday. Doing for the sake of completing the hours needed for ONOW. But, why do we need to do so long hours? From 9am - 4pm? That's like 7 hours after I minus lunch break??? If we are doing so long hours, why do we have to waste so much time for the SCS last week and used up so much brain cells and effort on the proposal and ppt??
I just don't understand.

Tiring you know? Still need do revision for MST... As if anyone of them know my blog url..

If I volunteer to do flag day, I don't mind. But now it's like... doing for the sake of doing??

If anyone of you happen to see me on the road on that day, help to donate. Then I can slack after that. Haha!

7:29 PM

I've been trying to avoid her whenever I see her online. Is either I put my status as 'busy' or I appear offline. Just when I didn't appear as 'busy', there she comes again. =.=

I really wanna get over and done with it.

6:21 PM

I'm more or less done with WCD... Weee~ Like finally?
But I'm not sure if we did it good enough.

8:47 PM

Vyvyan took the What's your Greatest Fear? quiz and got the result: Fear of Change..
Fear of Change: Can you handle what life throws at you? Your greatest fear is change. You might have gone through massive change when you were younger, like moving far away, or losing someone close that has shaken your grip on things. This makes you despise change. You may also have a fairly good life so far, but something in your life is threatening to take all that away. What would you do if you had to leave it all behind?

Took this quiz yesterday on fb and wanted to blog it.
I think.... My greatest fear is really fear of change.
Everything changes as time goes by. But I still fear about it.
Because of..... The happy times we have been together? Memories?

Certain things can never be the same as before. Things can never be the same now compared to last time when I'm still in secondary school, isn't it?
Although we try to meet up once a month, don't you think that it's never the same as before?

That's when I always start saying....
If only... If only this, if only that...
But still, things change.

I wonder which freak will be reading this. lols~

11:34 PM

I'm extremely tired. I can't believe I'm still surviving here. Haha.

Suppose to wake up at 5.30am when my alarm rang. Since I didn't have enough sleep, I slept for another 10min. 10min didn't really make a difference anyway.

Was suppose to meet at 8am at SCS. I reached at 7.30am! 30min earlier than the meeting time. I was like only 40% awake. And almost doze off again while waiting for the rest to come. The reached around 8.20am. Make me waste so much of my time waiting. Who say need to be punctual? So good arh~

Whatever. So started discussing about the whole thingy before going in to SCS to start the volunteer. I think most of the time I was in my lala-land. It's good enough that during games I still play with the kids. Everything ended around 1+pm.

Had lunch after that and had a little discussion on ITOS.

After that travelled down to HBF MRT. Reached there 30min before meeting time. So just walk around vivo. Then headed to Hendersons Waves after that. Didn't snap as much picture as the previous time. Just some random shots as usual. Chat around, slack around. As usual, I will be spending most of the time listening. LOL!

Headed back to vivo for dinner around 7+pm when it started to drizzle.

Had dinner at superdog and continued chatting. Back home after that.

Why is my left eyelid still twitching... It's so irritating~

11:04 PM

Ahh.. What's wrong..
My left eyelid has been twitching for the past few days.
So irritating.

Anyway.. Tomorrow to SCS. Just wanna get over and done with that 5 hours. I just can't wait for it to be over. Settle with that and I'm left with another 5 hours to do.

10:30 PM

Seriously...
I don't understand why must he start all the crapping stuffs in the middle of the night. I just feel like shutting the door, putting on the ear piece and just be in my own world.

WHY?

10:50 PM

I'm taking the 'risk'.
As if anything will happen.

I'm taking the risk of taking bus to yishun on Saturday. Who knows where will I end up to be if I happen to fall asleep in the bus and wake up to be somewhere else.
The most I'll end up at woodlands interchange? Then have to take train back to yishun and take bus again to CSC. =.=

It's getting confusing. Do I have to change bus to reach CSC or not???

9:22 PM

I simply don't know what to do.
To go out or to stay at home.
Both ways seems wrong.

What can I do?

1:58 PM

Bored!
Why is bejeweled under maintenance at this timing? What am I suppose to do now? I'm not going to study because I just completed another chap of IEB. Sian. Shall just wait a little longer before I go to bed. Haiix

No life.

11:35 PM

I think that............
Tomorrow's freaks' outing will be canceled again.
Anyway, I've decided not to go. I'll use the time to stay at home and study...

Next week's band camp? I still can't decide whether to go back or not... Haiix. Why must I always have to make decisions? Sian~

-------------------------------
Ooooh~ Freaks' outing is not canceled but with only 3 of them going? Rather pathetic.

Anyway, enjoy yourselves. (:

[edited]

7:17 PM

Why are there always clashes?!?!
Why are things always happening on the exact same day?

First it was the marina baragge thingy that I wanted to volunteer to help. But because of that ONOW thingy, I can't. Now there's SPP outing on that same day too. And because of ONOW, I can't go too..

How am I suppose to practice the photography skills when I can't even go for the outing? =.=

4:50 PM

I only have a choice.

Between RBKD chalet and 4E3 chalet, I only can choose one. And I chose to go RBKD's.
Now, between Freaks' outing and JYSB camp, I can only choose one too. There is no way I can go for both. I'm not going to sacrifice all my time for all that.
But even if I just choose one, will I have enough time?
Or should I just not go for both?

I just hate to make decisions! AHHH!

------------------------------
If that's the case. I rather not go.

[edited]

8:06 PM

I'm feeling rather emo here at this moment. Don't ask me why, because I don't know the answer. What's wrong?

Anyway... I realise, Yishun is real far! And I'm suppose to reach the Children's Society at 9am on Saturday. Sian~

9:48 PM

I don't know if I should meet up with the freaks on this coming Thursday or not since yesterday's outing was cancelled and I stayed throughout the YOG event.

I think I have been going out too frequently. Nobody is stopping me from going out, I'm stopping myself. Normally I will be only going out once every two weeks. But now is like every week. Worse still is that after coming back from SPP camp, I haven't been staying at home for 1 full day. Including today I'm going to grandpa's house since I didn't go last week. Tomorrow still have to go out to do project.

So, it's like... From Wednesday to Monday, I'm not at home.
Should I just stay at home on Thursday? Or meet up with them?

11:56 AM

I'm In! Are You?

Went for the YOG Volunteer event this afternoon. I'm volunteering to help out for next year's YOG. I think I will start getting busy from September onwards with all the training and stuffs.

Can I just let the pictures do the talking? (:

7:29 PM

I think I had too much fun for the past few days till that I'm so reluctant to start on my projects again.. How???

10June'09
SPP camp was fun. But it was also tiring.
It was kinda usual stuffs we did? Ice breaking and games... Started night walk at 2am. Shld be known as morning walk instead? I'm the very last group for the night walk and we can only go either in pairs or in threes... So guess how long do I have to wait? 2+ hours. I started my night walk at 4.35am! I waited for the whole night just for this. Do you know how tiring I was when I was waiting? While waiting, so many of them was already lying on the road sleeping. I didn't do that, but I sat at one corner and slept. But was woke up by someone after that. =.= I think without that nap, I won't be able to survive through the 2nd day of camp. The night walk was 'scary'? I think only the part when one of the guys scare me from my back when we were in that toilet. I think my night walk ended around 5am. Heard from others that my group skipped 2 stations. LOL! It's already the last group, do we really have to follow the route? Somemore, I just can't find the light sticks that were suppose to be there? Overall, the night walk was alright. Anyway, since we slept so "early", we can wake up late. Around 11+? I slept around 5.30am and woke up around 9+am. I wonder how come I woke up so early when I'm so tired and sleepy.

11June'09
No breakfast provided, so had to go and look for my own food.
After lunch was the Basic Photography Workshop and Amazing Race. Hmm.. Now I know a little more on photography, but I doubt I have the skills. Haha. Have to keep on practicing. Amazing Race started around 3pm till 6pm. Tired. Under the blazing sun, we went round the school for all the 8 stations. With some of it was wet activities. Hot weather with wet activity is good! Because it's cooling. But after the amazing race, we can't shower yet. How stinky can I be? I thought that will be the end of the activities for the day. But it wasn't.

After dinner we still have telematch among the different groups. Guess what was the time when we started playing telematch? It was around 9+pm. Stinking like don't know what in the middle of the night after all the activities. But we still can't get our shower. Went lecture theater for some bidding stuffs thingy. Kind of wasting of time actually. Only after this we can get our shower. But it's still not time to sleep.

We had disco night. Err? I don't do all those dancing. And that was my first time? Stuck in that room for around 45min before we could leave. Of course I left and went to sleep.
Slept around 2.30am. It was rather early because most of them only came back at around 3+am to 4+am. But what's the point wasting my time in that room when I'm stoning at one corner?

Nothing much for the last day. Pack up, lunch and debrief. That's all.

After that went home and had a quick nap....

-------------------------------
12June'09
Around 6+pm met up with Miao Ting to go to chalet together. I was rather quiet throughout the whole chalet. But that's usual anyway. During camp I think I was very very quiet too. LOL!
So, reached there and slack around then started eating. Had quite a lot of fun although I didn't do much? Somebody came. Totally didn't expect it. When she came I was totally stunned. Like 'huh?! serious?!'. Anw, it just seems so weird.
Joey & Xaby performance was hilarious. (Y)!

I went off around 10.30pm. Actually wanted to go both days of the chalet, but because of the camp, can't. Nvm, at least I went for the bbq. I still had fun! Not because she came, it's because I really enjoyed the time I was there. (:

Thanks to those who made the chalet so sucessful.

6:01 PM

I'm back from SPP camp. Tired! That's the only word I can think of the describe how I felt after the camp.

4:01 PM

SPP Camp tomorrow!
High possibility that they are going to split us into groups. I think.
Just hope that I'll enjoy my 3 days.

Anyway...
If there's anything, just leave me a sms. I'll probably be switching off my hp and only on it at night, just for the sake of saving battery.

Freaks, confirm already must tell me arh... :)

8:07 PM

Finally I'm done with Maths. I'm also done with the security reflection. 1/3 done with WCD project. I think the project is better than practicing for the MST practical. It's so tough!
救命啊！Tables inside tables are just going to kill me....

Anyway, busy week ahead.. Preparing to go for SPP camp. Camp again? Yes, I'm going for another camp in school. Am I looking forward to it? I think I am.
I understand why some people say must have CCA in poly. Because without CCA, I'm just stuck with books. What a boring life~

------------------------
Eh?
I'm quiet and shy? Lols. I'm just slow in making friends. But this doesn't equate that I don't scream wor. LOL! I won't be screaming for no reason, right? Don't ever try me. Lol!
I'm noisy? Only when I meet out with u all then I will become noisy. Right, noisy at the right time? Lol! Imagine the whole group of us don't talk? How can that be? Hmmm.. What if I'm quiet this Saturday? O.o

10:19 PM

9:26 PM

ARGH!!!!
I should have went to ask if I'm exempted all from the start since I've done it during DPA.
I feel so stupid only thinking of it after 1 whole term of school.
Total of 7 weeks, 2 hours per week. I've wasted 14 hours on IDEA!!! Wasting my time on 2 CAs!

But it's more stupid to go ask for exemption.. Because I'm left with only 1 CA! =.=
And I think this time round, my result will be better. But who knows? What if I end up the same grade or even lower?

But doing almost the exact same thing is so waste of time.
AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

气死我了！
What to do? Should I just continue for another 8 weeks? Or ask to be exempted?
-------------------
Anw, I enjoyed myself during astro just now. The video was kinda nice... Somehow it answered some of my 'questions'. As in those questions that I have been asking since Primary 5. Hahaha!
----------------------
Rmbr me saying about time past so fast?
7 weeks of school is over. 1 term is over. The time fly so fast that I didn't realise. And I just can't catch up with it. Indeed I can't, even on the last day. Running too fast is indeed tiring, I really need to have a break. But realise, before I reach the ending point for the break, I tripped and fell... I really need to slower down my pace a little.

12:15 AM

Haven't been writing so much for such a long time for any test or anything. Or should I say, I did not have any test till now. All were presentations.
I was only writing 2 pages, and my hand cannot take it anymore. My handwriting is also so messy. I can't even stand it. Should I start writing more during the holidays? Or else I doubt the marker can understand what I'm writing for the tests.

Another day to go before vacation starts.
Not really a vacation, just a short break with all the datelines that I have to meet. =.=
In addition with MST to study. =.=

9:05 PM

I don't understand... I don't know why...
The warmth of the home is not as warm anymore...
I thought I'm always the one who seems to be keeping everything to myself...
When I tried to say things out, nobody hears me...
It seems that I'm talking to myself...
Sharing it out, being ignored? I rather keep everything to myself.
I can't find the communication link... Where is it?
Each and every person is living in their own world.
And I don't know why am I here...

Striving hard with my school work. Trying to do every project as perfect as possible. Trying to score as good marks as possible. But who knows what I'm going through? Even if I did well in any project, who will know? Nobody ask. Nobody bother to even hear me. It's okay if they are busy, or in bad mood. Avoiding being scolded for no reason. I'll just keep quiet. But did they realise? We speak to each other less than 10 sentences in a day? Is this really to go on?

I know that whatever I do, it's all for myself. It's all for my own good.
With the daily routine of rushing to do assignments and projects? In 3 years time to graduate with a BIT diploma certificate? Is that what I really want?

Do I even know why am I in this course? Is it really because of being influence or really the interest in it?

I don't know.....
I don't know where things can be said anymore...
I don't know who to share my troubles anymore...

Friends?
Secondary school friends? Polytechnic friends?
I don't know...
Secondary school friends. It's so bad to message them out of a sudden. They may be busy with their own school stuffs.
Polytechnic friends? I can't find one that I can share my trouble with...

I don't know what's wrong....

9:57 PM

Doubt I did well for today's presentation...
Forget it... Shall just wait for the grade....

A few random pictures that I edited with photoshop this afternoon when I was lazy to study.. =X

10:27 PM

Why is the term ending in this way?? I don't like!
The whole week is packed with 'activities'..... Sian~

IEB CA2 presentation tomorrow, hope everything goes well. Just hope that I won't forget everything when I'm doing my presentation.

Wednesday got to go for the security talk. =.= Still have to do a reflection after that. Boring~

Thursday with MOB mock and IDEA presentation. DIE! How to remember 4 chapters for MOB?? Even if I do, I doubt I can remember which question to which answer. Haiix! IDEA presentation is.... haiix...

Last day of the week with Maths quiz and WCD practical mock...

Just ignore me with all my complains~

7:37 PM